Trilingual Family

We have a situation here.

My mum doesn’t speak Chinese.

WHAT?!

You would have imagined that being a Chinese my mum would surely speak Mandarin Chinese – or PuTong Hua as it’s referred to in China.

But, NO.

She speaks ‘FengHua hua’ – the dialect from her (and my) hometown, Fenghua, a smaill city about three hours drive south from Shanghai. PuTong Hua – together with Simplified Chinese – is something that only came into live when she was already in primary school, and she told me that no teacher in her school knew how to speak PuTong Hua although they were supposed to teach it to the kids!! So my mother’s PuTong Hua stays at a level that she’s comfortable only at listening but not speaking for more than a few minutes without feeling awkward. For those who might be wondering, PuTong Hua is as similar to FengHua Hua as what’s French to Spanish … so you get the idea.

Nicolas understands Putong Hua well, but not Fenghua Hua. My mum makes an effort to speak Putong Hua sometimes, but sometimes not (she simply slips back to what’s the most natural for her, consciously or unconsciously).

So the situation is: sometimes I end up having to interprete one form of Chinese into another form of Chinese. Now, THAT is crazy!!

Next time, when you ask something about the Chinese language, it’s perhaps a good idea to specify which Chinese you are referring to.

P.S., just in case you are wondering, PuTong Hua is the one that I’m speaking to Nina. Alas, for the moment she’s getting input of both PuTong Hua and Fenghua Hua though …

Will multlingual child mix the different languages at some stage? It seems, yes.

Is it something to worry about? It seems, no.

Is it an indication of retarded language developement? Very unlikely.

We went to a French home yesterday, that is French parents with two young boys (one about four years, one about four months) born and raised in Sydney. This is a definitely French family from linguistic perspective, so I was a bit unprepared when the four-year-old (who attends a local child care) suddenly asked his mom one question in English in the middle of a perfectly French conversation. Then immediately it reminds me of what I have read about miltilingual child mixing languages.

According to ‘A Parents’ and Teachers’ Guide to Bilingualism’, there are three stages in early bilingual development:

Stage 1: Amagalmation. There is no separation between the two languages. The two languages are mixed when talking. Only one word seems to be known for each object or action. Some words and phrases are a mixture from two languages. Many parents of bilingual children worry during this stage about mixing language. However such mixing is only temporary. Children speak their mixed language to different people. The two languages appear to be stored as a single system in the thinking quarters. Stage 1 occurs between 0 and three years.

Stage 2: Differentiation. There is a growing separation of languages. Children will increasingly use a different language to each parent. Equivalent words in the two languages are known. However phrases and sentences may reflect just one grammar system. Also there will be some mixing of languages as the child will not have equivalents for all words. Stages 2 occurs after two years of age.

Stage 3: Separation. While there is still a little mixing of the two languages, separation has mostly been achieved. The child is aware of which language to speak to which person. Awareness of having two languages begins. The child increasingly observe the different grammare of the two languages. Such differentiation is gradual. Stage 3 often occurs after three years (but it can occur earlier), and throughout life!

So I’m prepared that one day, Nina would make one sentence using bits and pieces from English, Chinese, and French. How cute would that be, or not? 🙂

One of the major hurdles for multilingual upbringing is about how to help children feel the ‘minority’ language is actually useful AND they can be proud of the fact that they are able to speak it, instead of being embarrassed. A few things that generally help include building a social network that allows the child to interact with other speakers in a natural setting, and travelling – or living even just temporarily -back in the native country.

But beyond parents’ efforts, there are other elements that play important roles in – positively or negatively – how the child would feel about the minority language(s), including particularly how the minority language is perceived by the country/community where the family live in. Is the language respected? Is it perceived privilige or rather neglected or unimportant? Is the language linked to a country that is generally perceived positively, neutrally, or eyebrow-raising-ly (is there such a word btw?)? All these – through people’s reaction in one wway or another – will certainly leave a mark on how the child would feel about speaking the language, and accordingly their willingness and capability of speaking the language.

Here is a story that’s shared by my friend H.X who lives in Sweden, which I think somehow illustrates the point above.

I talked to a friend of mine from Ecuador about her “success” in teaching her kids Spanish. She complained that it was very tough from time to time, and kids understands what she says but refuse to reply in Spanish, as they know mommy knows Swedish perfectly well. When her parents come to visit, kids insist to speak Swedish to them as well, which makes her very frustrated. …

So what does it mean for Nina and us? Here is my guess –

– French in Australia is one of the popular languages to learn at school for kids, and France (or Europe in general I guess) is considered as romantic and beautiful by Aussis, so French speaking kids perhaps are less likely to feel embarrassed. In fact, I often encounter ‘Wow you speak French’ reaction and those who have learnt French in school would generally make an effort to try to say at aleast a few words in French.

– Chinese is a rising star of the foreign language in the country, and more and more people recognize the value of speaking this language in terms of future employability & opportunities, although I think still it’s perceived by many as something too different, too difficult thus too far away from reality.

If any Aussi friends read this post, please let me know what you think of my guess 🙂 if you think differntly, do shout!

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P.S. something funny a friend posted on facebook. I guess there is some craziness in every language, and here is what’s in English …

A friend of mine P. sent me a link today from a BBC story, about a 20-year-old young man Alex Rawlings who won a national competition to find the UK’s most multi-lingual student. He speaks 11 languages fluently!

The story is here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17107435, and there is a video where he uses all these languages to tell why and how he learnt these languages and what he found about the difference in languages, as well as his plan to learn more.

21 February 2012 Last updated at 06:33

What strikes me most in this story is that he said, among all these 11 languages, his favorite is Greek, ‘because I’ve spoken it since childhood. It has sentimenal value for me’. I think this is a great point – if you link a language with all the sweet memories of childhoold and your parents/family, then the language is no longer just a language, but about who you are, where you are from, and what you are made of.

This is why I think any child deserves to be brought up with all the languages – and everything that goes with the languages – that hold value to her roots.

It’s interesting to see people’s reaction on my plan of bringing up a trilingual child. Some expected, some not. Mostly positive encouragement, some suspicious. Some find me courageous, and some find me unrealistic.

What I thought quite fascinating is getting two opposite views from people: one that it must be just incredibly easy to teach your child your mother tongue – the child will pick up just like that; and the other that if you don’t live in the country where the language is spoken by the society, don’t even bother trying to teach the child speak  – she will eventually speak only the ‘majority’ language of where she lives.

Quite surprisingly, the latter view is most strongly shared by a few Chinese-mother friends,  who live outside of China, and who have tried with their own children, and found the experience either ‘difficult’, challenging, frustrating, or simply not worth it. One wished me ‘good luck’, and another told me ‘why not pamper yourself with a relaxing massage or facial instead of trying hard to teach your little baby how to speak’.

While these didn’t discourage me, it did get me to think, harder: what are the extra challenges along the way that I haven’t thought of? What I can learn from their experience? What can I do, better or differently? And perhaps we should be prepared to be more flexible with our expectations? After all these parents have been there and done that, and I trust they share their thoughts with me wholeheartedly and sincerely, so there is something to learn.

There is another friend – H.X. – who found it very difficult / unnatural to speak Chinese with her 2-year-old son due to the fact that she doesn’t really need to use Chinese in her daily life – find my blog quite encouraging though, and would like to give it a try with her soon-to-be 2nd child and even started to squeeze in a few words here and there with the 2-year-old. I will share more of her challenge/thoughts on this in a separate post (with her consent – quote from her ‘I think it’s as important to show difficulties, failures and frustrations as to show success stories’).

A comment left on this blog by a reader Deb is finding this blog a great resource for her with her plan of teaching her bilingual child a third language. I have to admit that I am very glad to see my blog becoming a source of inspiration for others, even just a few others 🙂

In return, comments like this from a total stranger also encourages me to further research, study, and practice on multilingual upbringing. It’s perhaps not a piece of cake bought from the shop, but definitely one that tastes particularly good after taking all the trouble to find the right recipe.